Tag Archives: Spanish Flu

Cant Flu

Only a short post as I’ve had a shit day and can’t be bothered to write much.

I have watched a lot of news on various BBC channels today and I am SICK of hearing about swine flu. Why can’t they bring back Bird Flu? Not only did it sound better but it only lasted a few days because there were other more important news stories to talk about. This morning on BBC Breakfast (well it was midday but that’s breakfast time for me) they had LIVE interviews with correspondents in places like India and Spain with the newsreaders asking the most stupid questions and being met with even more idiotic answers “So, John, what’s it like on the streets of Spain?” – “Well Mildred, there’s no widespread panic or anything, people are just getting on with their lives as usual, although there’s been an increase in the sale of hand gels” – WELL THAT’S GREAT JOHN – I’m so pleased that you’re over there in Spain to report that fascinating bit of news back to us. “Alex, tell us what’s happening in India” – “Well Mildred, not much actually, we’ve only had 308 infections over here”. – THANKS ALEX, YOU DICK – thanks for taking the time to tell us that 0.000026742255693623104% (genuine figure worked out by me) of the Indian population have got the sniffles. WHAT’S THE FUCKING POINT? It’s a bit of flu. Okay, so some people are dying, but no more than would normally die of flu. Do we really need moron correspondents stating the fucking obvious and whipping up the general public into a state of mass hysteria? The Government have re-issued some of their advice but have said the rest stands and that it is not confusing – and they’re right – it’s not confusing – it’s only been made confusing by cants at the BBC/Sky News/Daily Mail turning this into such a drama. More people will die on the roads this year, or falling in the home or masturbating than will die of Pig Flu. So just shut up and stop annoying me you news fucks.

Here’s a funny flu/cold sketch from Man Stroke Woman. I’m going off to take my Tamiflu.

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